Land of Confusion

I was looking for signs of confusion.

Landing at Dulles everything became familiar again.  The same trolley from the gate to the terminal, the baggage claim, waiting at the exit, pulling onto the Toll Road, the same buildings, the same signs.  Construction caused some confusion as we exited to the Beltway but soon we were on terra familiar.  Nothing had changed.  It was as if we’d been away on a week’s holiday, not a four-month absence.

Like an archeologist walking through the rooms of our house looking for something, I find nothing odd or out of place.  The biggest source of confusion was locating ESPN on our local cable box.  At once everything from London became a memory and this was our life again.

And in an a blur of calls and visits, flights to Michigan, Atlanta, Costa Rica, Miami, DC and back to London, bathing suits and tennis and beaches and doctor visits and work meetings and lunches and holiday parties we are back. And as familiar as Bethesda was in the first moments, London is unfamiliar.  In some ways it feels like we never lived here. 

But then we walk in and the sound of the alarm system brings me back.  Soon the house smells of our London coffee and the creaky floors and smallish rooms become comfortable.  Later that day the woman’s voice on the bus, the chime at the turnstile, the tourists at Abbey Road, the taxis and buses, the smell of petrol remind me.

The last time we all came to this house, this place, it was for the first time.  There were tears and cries of home and wonder and worry.  But this time there was none of that.  No tears wetting the fur of our puppies or the house or their bedrooms.  All the goodbyes were said and we turned to discussion of what we had to do once we landed.  It was no longer an unfamiliar place, it was the place where we all lived together.

And the day progressed.  The kids got up from naps, we played some games and met our friends for dinner and took the bus and lamented the bowl games we would miss and watched the ones we could.  And everyone prepared for a new year and a new semester at school.  I reached for the emotion, wondering what everyone was feeling.  My wife grabbed at the process.  Here is what we’re doing, here is where we're going, let’s get moving.

And we did.