The Process

I’m not a big believer in epiphanies or love at first sight, but I do believe in moments of clarity.  Things take time to digest, to percolate.  And living abroad is no different.  You may be in love with the idea or even the Christmas morning newness (I know I shouldn’t use cliché’s especially this one since I don’t even understand Christmas morning) of the whole thing, but it takes time, especially for the kids.

And so the process completes when they have their first trip home.  The kids were told they could go home for certain special events but we’re not flying across the Atlantic every time someone has a party they don’t want to miss.  And so for daughter number two her big trip was here.  And you could see it in her step in the week leading up.  There was a relief, an exhalation, that finally she would be home, in her bed, with her dogs and best friends and Bethesda Avenue and all that is good in the world.

And the time home does not disappoint.  The dogs are in the car upon arrival, her room looks like it should, the friends are waiting at the door, the hugs, the smiles, the food all make her feel complete. 

It’s a mind-shuffling 70 hours of walking the mall and hugging and bat mitzvahs and brunches and telling everyone the same stories about what’s good and what’s hard.  Amid the love of old friends, however, she sneaks in a moment for something else.  She has a need to reach out to her new friends back in London.  And one of the first things she does, after hugging and screaming and being a 13 year old girl, she gets online and video chats with her London friends so they can see what her room looks like.

And in a blink she is boarding the plane to return.  And she’s tired.  And she loved it.  But she realizes that back home things changed and stayed the same.  She understands that when you leave a place the world doesn’t stop turning.  Especially at her age, people get bigger, taller, fuller, more mature, growth happens.  But she also learned, nothing changed.  Her friends are still there, her room is how she left it, the smell of the house remains.

And she is happy to come home.  Which home?  The home she has now.  It is the air that she breathes today that is special.  And for her the process is complete.  She now understands what it is like to come someplace new and make it your home.